Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Swansea with Carl Donnelly.

Next to me is, for the first time ever, ... the first time ever, ladies and gentlemen, get excited, is a new co-host to the show. You've never co-hosted the show before, Carl. / I haven't, no. / That was the voice of Carl Donnelly, / Hello. / ... a successful star, __ __ a banging star / __ __ to me on this ... early for Saturday morning for me / You are ... It is early. I know. / It's something I'm not ... uh ... / I know. / Saturday morning __ __ lying in bed until Football Focus is finished. / Yeah. __ __ used to be mine before this wretched show. ... It came along and ruined my life. ... / オレも昔はそうだったんだよなあ ... この番組のせいで人生が台無しだ。 / __ __ a number of times I think ... do you know what? ... "Should I just stop doing this?" / yeah / and then, ... I know __ __ people out there now / phones __ be going mad / yeah / yes / yes ... 8 10 12 is the text number if you want me to stop doing this / この番組をやめてほしい、という人がいれば / on a Saturday morning / how easy it is for someone to get / BBC. / ... Carl Donnelly ... / Yeah. / ... is co-hosting He's already upset me, ladies and gentlemen ... / Why? / ... by being the most, uh, I've told you, ... by being the most, uh, inconsiderate guest. / Uh ... Yeah. But you ... you, you ... you should / I __ you / clear with somebody their dietary requirements if __ __ buy him a snack / 奢ってくれるのはありがたいけど、こちらの摂食事情とかも確認してくれないと。 / I thought, I've ... I don't think I've ever done / the show for about ten years, we've had, uh ... you know, a number of co-hosts over the years, I don't think I've ever bought them a little breakfast. / Huh. And you __ not only / one, you bought me two snacks. / I bought you ... well, I bought you a breakfast. I bought you a BLT, / Yeah, / bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich on a whole-meal bread, / Yes, / uh ... part of a meal deal which ... I know you're looking __ that / thinking / I don't even take advantage of the meal deal. / Why? What was the __ __ __ __ / I don't know. I don't know. That's __ __ __ too tired. Uh ... I was in a rush. Um ... I also bought you, uh, a Maltesers easter bunny, other snacks are available, but brought you __ __ / Yeah. And then what did I say when you / about / I got in, I said ... I announced the fact that I bought you a sandwich, and, uh, an Easter egg, and you said, "I'm vegan." / That's true. I am. / You ... / I can't certainly throw away my ethical ... / I think you sould have / ... life style just __ __ sandwich and some Maltesers. / I think you should have __ __ you __ __ gone to the effort to buy a new ... / There is a ... there's a ... __ __ an argument ... there's __ __ freegans, and they will eat meat if it's given to them for free ... or dairy __ __ genuine / that sounds like somebody's just trying to get / free ... / yeah / ... free meat and dairy / Yes, yeah, exactly. __ I'm not ... I'm not a freegan. / why would somebody give free meat and dairy? / approach __ the street by / with a ... a bag of meat / __ __ __ __, you know, sometimes / milk / Yeah. If you / market / vegan / unless there's somebody standing at the isle end ... with a little ... with a ... with a white ... a hat and a little tray of __ __ __ __ __ ... Let's have some music. This is Seasick Steve, Summertime Boy ... and I'll grab a BLT and a chocolate egg.

I wanna hear more about freegans. / Freegans? / Yeah. / Uh ... oh, yes. It's ... / Carl is a vegan, ladies and gentlemen. That's not meant to be a bullying chant ... "Carl is a vegan. Carl ..." / __ __ __ people / I bet you do. / __ __ people always think __ __ __ better than me / I didn't say anything / yeah, that's / technically / anyone, but, on paper, I think I (am) / there's a little bit of you that think "I am better than other people."? / Well, ... no. But __ actually __ __ stats ... and, like, ... my footprint on the planet / then, yeah / you don't think / this is just fact and figures / 自分では、自分が人よりえらいとはちっとも思っていない。だけど統計から導かれる事実だからしょうがない。 / so / you don't think / you are better? / yeah / really ... __ really getting ... sort of __ meat and veg / Oh, don't get __ __ meat. Just get __ the veg / freegans __ __ __ just this thing that / hang on a minute. You've just announced ... / hang on a minute. You've just announced you're better than everyone. I wanna hear more about that. / I don't think I'm better than anyone. / So, for ethical reasons, you are a vegan / 100% ethical / the reason you turned down the BLT I kindly brought you in and the chocolate bunny egg, was because you are a vegan? / Yes. / Right. Go on / uh / freegans are a branch that think, if there's already meat / there / go / waste, then you should, ethically, eat it, otherwise it'd be, sort of, almost disrespectful to the dead animal. So, __ __ __ / people / doesn't it apply to all ... all meat-eaters? All meat / dead animal __ will go to waste / それは肉食人全員にあてはまるぞ。肉があるんだ。食べないと死んだ動物に悪いじゃないか。 / somebody / I don't agree / oh? / you / better than freegans as well? / Absolutely. / I think ... I think you're better than freegans. / I / better than freegans / so / you are the best here? / Yeah. I'm ... I'm __ top of the ... top of the three / You are the top, then me, ... / Yeah, / ... as a meat-eater and fish-eater / then freegans / then freegans / are just fooling themselves / yeah / Let's hear / your description again / basically / if there is, sort of, meat and dairy tht / just go / free and __ spare / all meat and dairy because / which / because / that / go to waste if somebody doesn't eat it. / Yeah. But it's not __ bullet-proof lifestyle / let's hear from freegans. Hit back. ... What else is there? / Um ... there is ... / You were ... you were talking about somobody __ __ bin earlier. / __ __ __ __ some people hang around __ __ __ back of supermarkets, and, when they throw away / waster products / they take them and think, "I can eat this, ethically." / Oh? So, vegans / do that / they do that / that's hard-core freegans. They __ actually __ raid bins from supermarkets __ __ / __ __ __ __ __ / totally __ to waste / people / feel better about themselves. / I don't know, mate. I can't ... who ... who can get __ step in the mind of a freegan? / __ they are a messy bunch. / Any freegans out there? Get in touch. __ let's hear __ __ your side. That's __ __ __ __ all about. I'm all about hearing / both sides of the argument_. You know me, kids.

Have we heard from any freegans yet? / Hhhmm ... no / you are receiving the ... / correspondense / here / at the moment / coming directly to you. What have you got? / uh, there's an / email __ __ __ __ __ email that has ... doesn't make any sense 'cause / photo / Let's have that. / It's from, uh ... Mathew M__ / Good work. / "Hi, Rhod and Carl / your podcast, I / your podcast / it seems / pineapple / come up again / Right. / about pineapples regularly? / No idea. / OK. / I've got absolutely no ... I've got a very vague memory of talking about pineapples. ... uh ... hang on a minute. __, from the production / I thought they grew on trees / where ... where do they grow? ... Huh, I / now I sound like an absolute idiot / where / pineapples grow / do you know what? I didn't know then, and I don't know now. People ... people went crazy. People ... people were going banana / オレがパイナップルは木になってるんだろうと言ったらリスナーがバナナになった。 / アレが食えるものだって、誰が最初に思ったんだろうね？/ about pineapples / I thought / coconut / fall down / Uh, yeah, that is a ... that is a common misconception / pineapple / coconut-like / it / drop from a tree / your head / grow up like a plant / on top of a plant ... / who was the first person / and thought that was fruit / they look like a weapon, don't they? / 武器に見えるよね。/ they do, yeah / but / this guy, Mathew, said / might appreciate the attached picture / I realize / great radio content, / taken in Osaka at Pineapple Land / ラジオですから、写真はあまり役に立たないかもしれませんが、一応添付しておきます。 大阪のパイナップルランドで撮ったものです。 / ありがとうよ。そのとおりだ。ラジオだから写真はあまり役に立たない。特に添付されていない場合はな。 ... パイナップルランドって何だ？ オーサカってどこだ？ / and, uh ... / none of that makes any sense / I don't know where Osaka is. I don't know why / Pineapple Land / some sort of fun / zoo of pineapples? / every cage is full of, uh ... / a lone pineapple / パイナップルが檻で飼われているのか？ / no picture has been attached. So ... / And there's no picture attached? / assume / pictures don't make great radio, especially not / even attached / everyone / everyone, close your eyes / imagine a pineapple behind bars ... / ... in a cell / not a cell / call / cell / what do they call / you do / vegan / obviously we know that. We know that / would you go to / zoo? / would you not? / zoos / what do you do? / you don't eat meat / feeling better / all day, every day / actual horse / would you ride a horse? / No. / I don't ... __ __ __ __ __ I don't like __ use of animals / 人間の都合だけで動物を使うことはしたくない。 / you don't eat meat / like, ... you don't ride a horse? / No ... unless a horse walked up to me __ __ __ __ just offered / come / horse / suggestion / it's about ... this is about concent. I need an animal to consent to any of ... oh, / this sounds terrible / any joint activities. / 共同で行うアクティビティには両者の合意が必要なんだ。 / I'll tell you what. If I was in control of the music, I would have hit PLAY there ... just to punctuate that, "I need an animal to consent. / in charge of / back in Cardiff / now the timing's gone / ask / horse / you can ride me / you would / 馬が「乗っていいよ」と言ったら / yeah / yeah / be fun / maybe the horse is just doing it / feels guilty / 馬がお前に気を使って言ってるだけかも知れないじゃないか。 / Wouldn't it be better if / horse / asked you ... begged you to ride him / for me / then I definitely would / you would / probably would say / do you know what / probably / all / believe it. / ... Yeah, yeah / this is weirder than Pineapple Land / I think we're all clear on, uh ... on what circumstances you would ride a horse / under / お前がどのような状況でならば馬に乗るかが、これで明確になった。 / you can ride me if you want / つまり、お前が乗りたそうにしていたから馬が仕方なく「乗らないか？」と言ってきた場合には ... / 乗らないよ。 / came up / and begged you to ride it / to find / ride me all day / その馬がどう見ても自分に乗ってくれる人を一日中探しまわっていたと考えられる場合には / hop on / だから乗りなよ / why not knock off __ __? / そこまで言うなら ...

let's hear it / are attacking ... attacking your veganism / as / vegans and / be forced to defend your position / people attacking you for no reason / this is English Bob / always / bad value / is __ allowed to / comes from / d__ cow / again, yes / concent / concent / if a cow said / I want my skin to go to / clothing / Can I do that? Is there ... is there a scheme? / I mean / should / out / thing / but / I don't think / would / do you find / you get this a lot / もしかしたらよく言われるか？ / do you find / I wear / these are synthetic fake-leather boots I'm wearing / actually / still look like / it's actually very easy / people / people are weird, aren't they? ... because they / if you don't / critical / defend your position / bet / people go / leather shoes / looks like / therefore perpetuating the leather industry / keep__ __ leather fashionable / Well, defend that, then. / because / just / feel like / look at something / where it's from / if you / surely you / people / like, a vegan sausage / put / that shape / yeah, well / hey / you're attacking yourself / own / ... Do you need me? / people / argue / you shouldn't / vegan meat alternatives / that shape / really easy / sausage / like, the easiest bit of / so, you think ... you think / vegan / shaped like a sausage / because / convenient shape / I don't think it is. I think you are kidding yourself / I think it is ... I think it is / to remind them of the sausage. I think it is, in some way, symbolic of meat / yes / there is that. But also I think / convenience / original sausage / I don't think / I think / once you've got / knife and fork / convenience / I suppose you / argue / hotdog / that's / reason / that shape / once you've got a knife and fork ... / Yeah, / ... all right? Then surely, the shape / surely / to / surely / easy / to make / some sort of flat pa__ / 野菜ソーセージはなぜ本物のソーセージみたいな形をしているんだ？　ベジタリアンも結局は肉を食いたいんじゃないのか？ / そうじゃない。偶然形が似ているだけだ。あれは便利な形なんだ。しかし、あれをわざわざつくる手間を考えると、もっと簡単な形でもいいと思う。もっとこう、平らな ... / ハンバーグみたいにか？ / You ... like a burger, almost / would you / any more convenient than __ burger / have you ever got any / really? / on a plate ... on a plate, with a knife and fork / burgers / inconvenience myself / why go to all that trouble / knife and fork out of that / sausages were invented / knife and fork / eaten by hand / like a lollipop / like a __? / I don't know where pineapples come from / ぼくはパイナップルがどこからとれるかさえ知らないんだ / very ill-informed person / I / never / holding / sausage / hand / squeeze it at the bottom / kid / barbecue / pick up a sausage / nature / intended / do you know what? I genuinely never have / never / what else have we got / text / 8 10 11 / what / People / I am a buy-one-get-one-freegan / but, only on Fridays / no idea / scrap that / she says, "So, / freegans / absolutely / I agree totally with ... with __ / let's hear from / freegan / wanna hear / an experienced vegan / freegans / eat meat under certain circumstances which are ... Carl Donnelly? / get __ __ bins, or / samples in shops ... maybe outside __ shops / give out samples / when they think / if I don't eat / go to waste / free stuff. That / Carl Donnelly is a vegan, ladies and gentlemen / we're trying to establish / where / at / better than freegans / world / so, it's you, me, then what ... then / people / be ethical vegetarians / ... OK. / uh ... because / you can't / same / half / causes horror and pain / what do you mean? / dairy / pretty ... pretty bad / actually / into / it's only a gentle squeeze of a cow's udder / 牛の乳房をやさしく絞るだけだぞ？ / my / finger / somebody / monkey world, where / rescued monkeys / from horrible situations / ... You said earlier / fish / dairy / you wear leather / would you ride a horse / circumstances / ride a horse / begged / looked genuinely enthusiastic / but you wouldn't otherwise / you wouldn't just go up to / ride it / jump on / without / stable / saddle / 'cause you think it would / using the horse / really / back / no one does / imagine / random / people / piggyback / all the time / no / I would / that's my argument / think / horse / matter / so, this is why / find / would you go to a monkey sanctuary / with / so, you would? / wild life sanctuary / animals have been saved from horrible situations / I don't know what horrible situation she's referring to, but / I think / happily / donkey sanctuary / ... Would you? / safe / like ... beaches / mal-treated / donkey / I'm not sure / is / Blackpool beach / donkeys / get them in there / I think / sanctuary / very nice / roughly / sanctuary / hats / how __ __ do that? How / win / take / off / a bit smaller hat every day / a few hours a day / finally get used to / not wearing a hat / finally / so small / just almost not a hat / symbol on their head

Let's email. What have we got / text / What have we got? What have we got? / more attacks on your ... uh ... / more pointless attacks / your veganism / somebody went to Osaka in Japan / yeah / uh, last year / this is 'cause / text came in earlier / that was talking about / Pineapple Land / photo / this is __ photo / person / sent in earlier / Pineapple Land in Osaka / somebody else / been to Osaka / now we've got the photo, and it is / somebody / picture of a hand holding a very small ... / micro pineapple / like, a micro pineapple / size of / like / just one little whole pineapple / yeah. It's like the size of, uh, conker ... the whole ... the whole pineapple / I did actually google / called Nago Pineapple Park / admission ticket to the park include__ / automatic / vehicle / tropical garden / through / pineapple / a mobility scooter through / pineapple / sample pineapple products / Huh, that's ridiculous. That is ... I don't wanna go there / who / missed / pineapple / thinking / glad / waste my time, having / mobility / all the / pineapple / can eat / just want to / all you can eat / pineapple / innit / a little more than one tin / third of a pineapple / if you have, get in touch.

This is Rhod Gilbert, live on BBC Radio Wales / Mr. Carl Donnelly / hot co-host seat, currently defending his position, absoluetely needlessly, / from / pointless attacks from the listeners / his vegan position / who's attacking / this time? / waiting for / always / even / none of our listeners are in Wales. / Right. / They're all over the world / from Thailand / as well / James / says / Rhod / keep / highlight of my week / Oh, god. / I'm currently at home ... / already depressing / ロッド、あなたの番組は僕の一週間のハイライトです。 / 悲しい人生だな。 / currently / still / well enough / most / kind of / meat such as chicken / co-host / if / animals have feelings / then why eat plants / same feelings / do not stop the show / own / position / always comes up / you should have / well-prepared / d__ argument / science / all / plants have any form / argument against it is / they don't because / no central n__ system / no brain / concept / capacity / some feelings ... some feelings / beyond them / no / spinal / add / it must be hard to feel jeolousy or ... / 植物が嫉妬を感ずることはない、と ... / people / spinal c__ / 人間は脊髄があっていいなあ / nostalgia / be out. / rainy days / remember / that's it. So, / argument / it's not / 'cause obviously they react to / biological reaction / prove / animals / scientific tests have proved, they feel / you know / proved / they feel / all / stuff / when you / argument in the past / those who / put forward / plants have feelings, too ... thing / what is the ... what is the / sort / obviously / my diet is all plant-based / plant murderer / in sense of / plants have feelings too / quote or, you know / what / more / spiritual thing / there / one study, and this is ... this is why __ should never / maybe / B__ / S__ / like / there / some scientist__ tried to get plants ... __, ... sort of, / almost / being / have feelings / 心がある / dip a chip / m__ / defended / where is the ketchap? / 植物にも感情があると。ポテトをマヨネーズにつけたらポテトが怒ったと。「ケチャップにつけてくれよ。」 / I don't know / yeah / dubious / you don't go for that? / you don't believe / upset / plant / don't you? / tried / upset an obegene__ / plants / you know / yeah, yeah / calm down / nicely / house / here's / question / to find out where / OK / you don't think / got feelings / go / would go to a monkey sanctuary / from / worse situations / if / better than their previous one / there's no, sort of, __ __ conservation element / do / usually / conservation / you know, sometimes / I mean / hottest part of China / polar bear / be there / ... So, ... I shouldn't laugh. Sorry / no / would you ... / you would go / monkey sanctuary / monkey theme park. ... Right? / some people / definitely / go / everything __ run monkeys / monkey / ride / 人間がコントロールしているジェットコースターだって信用できないのに、猿がコントロールしているとなると ... / is he a monkey / anyway / it's not / he's an ape, yeah / say was, what happens / detail / of / in the monkey sanctuary / that you would visit ... even / zoo / We're clear on that. ... What happens if / monkey sanctuary / they probably feed / monkeys / live insects and / don't they? / do they? / What! Monkeys don't eat insects? / 何だと！ 猿は虫を食べないだと？！ / Have you never seen / eat / See? That's where you're wrong / of course / tool / honey / down into / ant / hill / dip / loads of ants / use tools / one / so, would you ... what __ you make of that? / diet / isn't it? / you don't mind that? / this is the thing / you think that's fine, do you? / monkeys don't know / you know, they don't understand consents / 猿が昆虫を食べることは許せるのか？ / 猿は「合意」という概念を知らないから。 / I'll talk to my lawyer / humans, / we have evolved to understand / realize / live like / just / ants on __ stick / need to do that / doing / you / go to a monkey sanctuary / eating other animals? / depends / ants, for example / so / ride / pig / for example / if / fair fight / I know what you mean. Yeah, exactly. / not if / for sport / but if / horse and / pig / watch __ horse / for example / just / by both parties / Yes / need / both consent to the fight / OK. I think we / really / question / Well, that's good. That's important. / Yeah, it's very important / any freegans yet? / email / mentioned / talking / sausages / sort of / or other icecream / Yeah. Other ... other lollies are available / somebody said / hot dog / so, just / take on / out / everything / for a dollar.

So, what else have we got / attacking / now / joke / I don't think Carl is weird / which is nice / said / vegitarian / fish / Sarah tweeted / vegan dog food / I don't eat meat, but feed my dog meat and fish / hang on / let / catch up / hang on a minute. She / does / before / from / would you have a dog? / No. / You wouldn't have a pet dog? / No / more of / as much to do with laziness / in relation to your vegan ethics, where you would ... you would ride a horse / only if it begged you to / would / horse / beat up a pig / their own volition / yeah / fight. ... You wouldn't go to a monkey world / you would go to a monkey sanctuary even __ / encouraged to eat live insects? / encourage / training / how to get ants out of a hole / somebody / down the holes / don't tell me / themselves / instinct / so, uh ... / dog / yes / dogs / would I have a dog? / tough one / obviously / for thousands of years / domesticate / you can't just release / dogs / to the wild / if you are a ... you know, if you are a good, caring dog owner, you are essentialy / that is / your house / sanctually for that thing / world / be killed / within, I'd say, 45 minutes / So, a handbag is a chihuahua sanctuary / problem of / domesticating dogs / would you have a b__ / no / bird in a cage / Huh. / keep / box / my pocket / like / Birdman of Alcatraz / like the Birdman of Alcatraz / owl / should / cargo / much / reported / owl in her pocket / see us / she kept an owl / lady of the lamp / much more notable.

bbc / Radio Wales / live / co-host chair, who's taken / depending on his veganism / packet of crisps / did you read about this? / available / rather taken aback / journalism / rather taken aback / quite / innit? ... for a tabloid newspaper / normally / "horrified", "shocked" / mortified / packet of crisps / that is quite played down / even so, mate / normally / surely / rather taken aback when he opened his packet of crisps / find / single whole potato / must / packet / know / whole potato in it / what / this / this / level / such s__s / my / standard / got / got / emptied or full / classic / old, classic / classic / old / be bothered / shower / morning / that's weird, isn't it? / a bit / be bothered to / stand up / yeah / weird / get out / bath / be in bed / not / up. ... You know what I mean? / it's an intermediate step. Uh ... now I thought / I read / how could you not / how could you / packet / taken aback / yeah / surely not / See? Uh ... "... quite a surprise / Richard B__, aged 25 / important / onion crisps / whole potato / architectural designer / even more / should / come on / an architect / explained / I picked it up and it was air-tight, so I didn't question it / right / window / have a look / before you / but ... let me finish. / OK. / story / "... At first / soggy / realized / everyone in the office laughed. / so, that's / didn't / taken / something / why / buy / multi-pack. I don't know / we couldn't believe it / wrong / story / could / been / a story / buy them again / feel up the pack / odd phrase / apologize / not / a fascinating story there. Would you / crisp / real beef / one of those quality / mentioned earlier / onion / totally / none-meat, yeah / isn't there a ... / hit the markets / was / it / don't you feel / sort of / cow / wouldn't you refuse / robot horse / good / question / too far / would you eat / would you / so, you would / robot horse / need / consciousness level of this / AI / I programmed it / get off / using me / self / ride it. But, if / programmed / still / really not / how can / mine field / how / not / doesn't like you / I don't know what / ride / upset me / but / care about that / believe / get over it / made me question my decison / yeah / then / think / robot horse / bit / that horse / if you're really /

Two coincidences happened / last / weeks / forgotten / bother with that one. / OK. / the other one / right? / there / Hyde / wife / dog / right / We've offered __ sanctuary to __ dog / thank / looking / coincidence No.1 / hope / come back to me / powerful / let's assume / massive coincidence. Wow. Right? / No.1 / hyde / speaking louldly / middle-aged man / us / says this / to John S__ / and / gone / my wife / so loudly / me / did you / you / spoke / "Did you?" / an hour later / my / rings / she / chap on / whose / arranged to meet her there / What? / anything about this / got / dad / spoken to J__ S__ / What? / ... Humm. / arranged / Cardiff / daughter / I __n't know who this chap is / exact / how about that / isn't that creepy? ... So, / never / who / the name / my agent / wife / what was the name / park / just / John / how weird is that? / no / no / no idea / if that is you, please get in touch / absolutely / isn't / very / odd / guy / say that / recognize me / some sort of / CIA stuff. / Yeah. But / how / John / hour / isn't / what do you make of it? What do you think? / believe / it's true / amazing / just because / out / bit / know / sort of / ever heard / figure / maybe it is / if you are J__ S__ / please / either / same / get / person / talk / girl / related to the bloke / please / get / radio / now / we / freaked out / back up / OK / lift / indoor / 54.77 seconds / good / everyone / OK?

if / why don't you listen to the whole show? / live / Saturday mornings, 11 till 1.

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Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits エピソード・リスト